Honoring My Best Friend

One of the realities of being a political candidate in the modern age is that everything you do is out in the open on social media. But everything people see is just the surface. That surface can hide the times when you’re going through real pain or even forming authentic connections with people. As a human being, I’m going through that right now.

During the first week of April, my best friend, Silas, died of a heart attack. He was my age, and he left behind a loving spouse and two amazing children.

I’m one of those people who believes you never become who you are by yourself. Nobody pulls themselves up by their bootstraps. Nobody is solely responsible for their own success. We are all products of the people who shape us. 

If you’re reading this and you like my platform, that reflects your life experiences and needs. I hold that with deep care. And if you like me and my platform, that is, in part, because of Silas and others who have chosen to love me and help shape who I am.

So, as I honor an individual who was more like a brother than a friend, I want to share some of the qualities I gained from him.

• Honesty – When I was a kid, I constantly told white lies. It was how I survived the tight control in my immigrant mother’s household. I never told lies that would hurt anyone, but I wasn’t the most trustworthy person. When I started dating my wife, she made it very clear “that shit had to stop.” But it wasn’t until I met Silas that I believed it was possible. Silas hadn’t told a lie in over 20 years, and he practiced radical honesty. Today, I haven’t told even a white lie in 14 years. Maybe that makes me a worse politician, but I believe it makes me a better public servant.

• Authenticity – As a short-statured immigrant, I spent a good portion of my life trying to be someone different—whiter, taller, more confident—in order to fit in. Silas taught me to embrace who I am, just as he embraced who he was. He showed me that my experiences, and how I’ve overcome struggle, made me stronger. If you asked generative AI to create an image of a political candidate, you probably wouldn’t see someone who looks like me. But I no longer believe you need to look a certain way or have a certain background to lead and serve. A large part of that confidence comes from how Silas lived and helped me believe more deeply in myself.

• People- and System-Focused – There’s an adage that Democrats often love humanity, but struggle with connecting to individuals, while Republicans often connect well with individuals, but resist broader systems that support humanity. My friend Silas rejected that divide. He never talked down to anyone. He cared for and loved people with genuine compassion informed by Christian love and wanted to make their lives better. That example made me a more caring person and a stronger advocate. 

Silas’s mother’s family, the Prestons, have deep roots in West Virginia, spanning many generations. Silas loved West Virginia, and years ago, we even talked about the possibility of him moving here and running for Congress. Had he done it, West Virginia would have gained an extraordinary advocate and human being.

But that’s the nature of our lives—even those that end far too soon. Each life has incalculable effects on the people we love, and the ripples of that love continue far into the future in ways we could never imagine.

I’m devastated by the loss of my friend, but I’m also deeply grateful for the role he played in shaping who I’ve become. As I continue this campaign, you’ll see his impact on me—in how I love more deeply, advocate more fiercely, and serve more honestly.

Thank you, Silas, for everything.